Yoder's Live Blog-NFL-Bears @ Browns

Welcome everyone to another installment of the Yoders' Live Blog. In the final game before the real games start, I get to chronicle the team nearest to my own heart...DA BEARS! Tonight, they go up against the lovable, but probably terrible Cleveland Browns. For a seemingly insignificant game, there's so many questions to answer, "Will Eric Mangini reveal himself as the Browns starting QB?", "Who will be the Bears 3rd WR?", "How many awkward local sideline interviews will there be?", and finally, "How many times will Bernie Kosar actually make sense?" If you want to boldly answer these questions, and have nothing else better to do, c'mon, follow me!

11:00- And finally, the clock ticks to zero and the Bears win 26-23. The Bears final roster spots seemed to be decided before the start of the game, with mostly third and forth stringers playing. The Browns are no closer to finding a starting QB while their uber-paranoid coach is nervously looking over his shoulder as he exits the field. Hope you enjoyed this live blog of the final preseason game for Da Bears! Now please, for the love of God, bring on some meaningful football! Until then, it's bye for now!

10:57- A final shot of Browns D Coordinator Rob Ryan on the sidelines. I can't decide whether he looks like some evil comic book villain, or like he should be dropped off beneath a bridge on the Browns way back to Cleveland.

10:55- A beautiful fade to Iglesias from Basanez should ice this one. And finally, Bernie slurs his first name of the night, somehow turning Basanez into Baa-shu-nuh.

10:53- The Bears are in full run-out-the-clock mode handing the ball off to AP, and of course, Mangenius is using all of his timeouts to try to win the game. My heart is beating so fast, it feels like I've been given a horse tranquilizer.

10:48- Brad Ragamuffin's pass is incomplete on 3rd down and the Browns are kicking a field goal? C'mon, this is the preseason, why not go for it. If the Browns somehow get a stop and tie this game I may write a petition to the NFL to ban overtime in the preseason. Of course, Mangini could just want to practice his onside kicking game, he knows he's going to need it quite a bit this year.

10:40- D.J. Moore hurts his roster status by muffing a punt and coughing the ball up to the Browns. Oh wait, how silly of me, Moore was a fourth-round draft pick. If Mike Okwo and Leon Joe get more than one year, D.J. Moore should be able to sleep easy tonight.

10:38- Finally, Bernie starts to tell a random story about being coached in Montreal, only to have partner Jim Donovan cut him off. You're killing me Jim, somehow I envisioned the end of the story having to do with Bernie finding his way out of a locked barroom closet after getting lost in downtown Montreal, but, maybe that's just my imagination.

10:34- Now it's keystone cops time as the Bears screw up an option and 3rd down and then get called for a false start on 4th down, leading to another Robbie Gould field goal to put the Bears up 26-20. Hey, I wonder what's the record for most field goals in a preseason game...I feel like Gould is inching closer to the record. Of course, since this is the most worthless stat this side of Jayson Stark, I'll look no further.

10:27- Basanez is showing a good arm, of course his most recent pass was dropped by 3rd round pick Juaquin Iglesias, who has played in the preseason more like Julio Iglesias. Maybe it's not too late for a career as a Latin singing sensation for Juaquin.

10:21- Perhaps a sign of things to come as Eric Mangenius has rotated back in Brett Ratatouille. Of course, on the first play he gets belted and throws incomplete. My bet is Mangini sends both Brady Quinn and Derek Anderson onto the field on the Browns first play of the regular season, and whichever quarterback races under center first is the winner!

10:14- Johnny Knox with another nice return as the Bears move into Browns territory. Knox himself is from Abilene Christian University, another D-II school. Interestingly, Ove Johansson kicked a 69-yard field goal for ACU in 1976, a world record to this day. Also, interesting enough Lane Kiffin didn't call for the attempt just to spite Al Davis.

10:02- Brandon Rideau scores on a slant on 4th and 1 to tie the game, boy it'd be nice to see that on a consistent basis from the 1st team offense. With that TD, Rideau is making a late case to make the roster, if only he'd sent Lovie that boquet of daisies...

9:59- Brett Basanez airmails his first pass of the night as the Bears 3rd QB. If there was any year to only carry 2 QBs for the Bears, it's this one. All the eggs are in the Cutler basket anyway, and I don't think Basanez will turn any heads tonight.

9:52- Lovie wins the challenge, and the Browns score on the next play from the 1-inch line. I suppose anything can happen, but really, in the preseason. I guess Lovie just wanted to practice his form throwing the challenge flag.

9:49- Finally, Rod Hood shows why the Browns cut him as he gets beat on a fade route by 50-year old David Patten. Paging Chris McAllister, paging any competent cornerback still on the free agent market? Brian Robiskie catches a TD on a slant (get used to that happening) and the Browns take the lead. But wait, the Bears are challenging, oh the humanity...

9:45- And somehow the Bears scored a touchdown, and I missed it because the power suddenly decided to go out. If this were a regular season game, I might be throwing things around the room. During the last preseason game, I'm almost wishing it would stay off.

9:38- The 2nd half begins and the tension is so thick you could cut it with a knife. Who will earn the last spot on the roster? Will Bernie Kosar actually stay awake for the 2nd half? Stay tuned to find out!

9:25- A sack by Ervin Baldwin mercifully ends the first half as the Browns are up 13-6. Expect the updates to be a little slower as we progress closer to the start of real football!

9:19- A field goal by Gould cuts the lead to 13-6 as Bernie Kosar is asked if he likes throwing to big targets? Answer, of course not, I prefer throwing to midget wrestlers like LIttle Beaver.

9:13- Back-to-back nice plays form Wolfe and Johnny Knox showing his burst of speed. Knox's speed could come into play during the season if he can get loose for a bomb from Cutler. Of course, if track speed was the only prerequisite for making a wide receiver, Usain Bolt would be like Steven Strasburg on steroids (wait, bad analogy...).

9:09- Phil Dawson makes a 51-yard field goal...AND THE BROWNS WIN THE SUPER BOWL!! Wait, it's only the last preseason game. Well, maybe someone should break the news to the Browns announcing team.

9:07- Sad to say these "Monsters" of the Midway are getting carved up by the Browns right now. A guy I'm really hoping steps it up is Marcus Freeman. Coming out of Ohio St. he seemed to have a lot of potential, but he has never looked like a guy who can make impact plays in the NFL. Looks like he's got a one-way ticket to the practice sqaud.

8:59- More Tarleton State info, apparently the man who the university is named after, John Tarleton, had a pet duck named Oscar P. who traveled with him wherever he went and is buried with him. Maybe if I have a pigeon follow me everywhere I can at least get an NAIA school named after me.

8:55- The Plowboy couldn't fit that 3rd down pass in there and the Browns are forced to settle for a field goal. Another poor defensive possession where supposed starters like Manning and Payne were picked on in the middle of the field. Really, I am starting to worry about this secondary. Is it too late to bring Mike Brown back? I'd take him on one leg over these other guys.

8:51- So apparently the Tarleton State "Plowboys" are located in Stephenville, Texas and are a D-II school. I wish I was making the nickname up, but it was the school's original nickname. There's so many jokes I could make that would be wrong on so many levels that my head is spinning.

8:48- The Browns new QB is Richard Bartel from somewhere called Tarleton State. Give me a minute while I look up whether Tarleton State is a D-II school or is actually in Canada.

8:45- Of course, as I post this, Hanie does his best Rex Grossman impression and lobs up a lame duck interception to the Browns. Really though, if Jay goes down, this team is royally

screwed! Maybe by then one of these Browns quarterbacks will be available through a trade for some bulletproof vests and a 24hr bodyguard for Mangini.

8:44- Can someone explain to me why the Bears are so confident with Caleb Hanie as their backup QB? What has he done besides make some plays with his feet against a bunch of practice squad players. God forbid, what would happen if Cutler goes down?

8:39- Nice play by Rod Hood to force a Browns punt. Even for someone who was cast aside by the Cardinals and the Browns, somehow I feel better with him out there than one of our own seventh-round draft picks.

8:37- Bernie Kosar just called the Browns the "Screen Monsters" of the preseason. Afterwards Eric Mangini sent someone to the broadcast booth to break his legs for giving away too much information to the opposition.

8:35- Nice play by Kevin Payne to break up the pass after poor coverage from the rest of Bears secondary. This is the area of the team that concerns me most. Manning, Payne, and Afalava don't exactly inspire confidence in the secondary.

8:29- A familiar phrase we'll hear tonight, the Bears are punting. Just for a joke, I feel like the Bears should have signed Jonathan Quinn or Craig Krenzel for this game, because the Bears offense will resemble one those guys would be comfortable in. If you are betting this game, and if you are you should probably get some help, I hope you're taking the under.

8:27- Just great, Kevin Jones is hurt and in comes Garrett Wolfe. Let's see if he can actually find some daylight. As I say that, Earl Bennett is blown up on a screen pass. This is gonna be a long night. I feel like I need Alka Seltzer already.

8:26- And Jay Cutler's night is already over as we see the entrance of Caleb Hanie. Apparently Devin Aromashodu sent flowers to the Bears coaching staff to bribe them into keeping him. Maybe Brandon Rideau should have sent chocolates and Michael Gaines can buy Lovie Smith a new Porsche.

8:24- Garrett Wolfe with a lackluster return as we head to commercial. Personally, I'd rather have the original Adrian Peterson on my team as the 3rd RB. He's a more dependable running back and has more experience actually contributing. Whereas Wolfe has experience with busted screen plays and 2 yard losses.

8:22- TD for the Browns and its 7-0. If I were Bears rookie MLB Kevin Malast, I wouldn't put the tape of that last drive on my resume, caught out of position several times. He has a shot at the practice squad though, or as I call it, NFL Purgatory.

8:20- Former Northwestern RB Noah Herron gets a first down on a nice looking screen. Maybe Mangini is fooling everyone and Brett Radman will be the team's starting QB?

8:18- James Davis is shredding the Bears D on this drive. Looks like there aren't a lot of 1st teammers out there though. Of course, I wouldn't know since I'm watching the Browns feed. Just as I say that Marcus Harrison makes an appearance in the backfield!

8:16- Has there ever been anything that deserved less secrecy than the Browns QB dilemma? I mean really, this is like guarding the county coroner with the Secret Service. Is Eric Mangini actually trying to enrich uranium, or build a winning football team?

8:14- So according to Bernie, the Browns QB name is Radcliffe. But the Browns website says Ratliff. The team's depth chart is blank at QB. For all I know that's actually Brian Sipe back there.

8:12- Robbie Gould slots a 43-yard field goal to put Da Bears up 3-0. Jay Cutler made a nice cameo that drive handing the ball off every play. What's the point? Why not just send out the mascot to do that? Oh well, at least he's still upright.

8:09- Lovie Smith, with an actual starting QB and lack of fear of the boogie man, is playing Jay Cutler and resting Matt Forte. Smart move if you ask me...let's see if Kevin Jones has anything to offer.

8:07- And on Brett Ratliff's first throw, it's a pick by Zack Bowman!!! Great to see Bowman make an impact in his first game of the preseason. Now Zack, hit the showers before you pull another hammy!

8:05- So Eric Mangini doesn't want to give anything away by sitting both Brady Quinn and Derek Anderson. Heaven forbid the Vikings would get an advantage from knowing who the Browns QB would be. You know, I think Mangini is the type who also goes to work a different way every day to avoid the people he thinks are following him.

8:02- Apparently the #1 key for the Browns is "Get em in, Get em out" Funny, I think they stole that from a 7-11 ad I just saw. Guess I better study up on the Browns 4th string.

8:00- A special welcome to those of us checking out the live blog from our friends at BallHype. Hope everyone enjoys the game and don't forget to vote us up. Feel free to leave any comments as well, as Bears and Browns fans, we should have plenty of reason to commiserate. Also a friendly reminder to extend my DVR times for CBS shows I might be missing. Nothing more annoying than taping something Sunday night, and running into Andy Rooney and 60 minutes. You know what bugs me, Andy...well, I won't say.

7:55- Game time is approaching and I'm getting goose bumps. No, not because this is the last preseason game, I'm nervous because even I won't know half of the players out there. The over/under on playing time for any significant player on these teams is 7 snaps. If I were the Bears, I wouldn't even let Jay Cutler run out on the field! Just keep him in a secured place until the end of the game, please!!

7:47- So, for tonight's game, I feel there are three big storylines:

(1) Who will be the team's 3rd WR?

-The 3 candidates are Rasheid Davis, Brandon Rideau, and Devin Aromashodu. My favorites are Davis because he's proven he can make big plays and is a great special teams player, and Aromashodu because Cutler likes him, and hey, that's who's really making the decisions, right?

(2) Who will be the Browns QB?

-Brady Quinn seems to have the inside track, but HC Eric Mangini hasn't revealed his hand. Derek Anderson should see some playing time as well. Of course, Bears fans know better than anyone the old adage, "if you have two QBs, you really have none". Heck, we've even had 3 crappy QBs fight it out in training camp, anyone remember those heated battles between Cade McNown, Shane Matthews, and Jim Miller? Those were the days!

(3) Will anyone from the Bears 2009 Draft Class please stand up?

-Between the projects like Jarron Gilbert and Henry Melton and the WRs who haven't contributed like Johnny Know and Juaquin Iglesias, will anyone from Jerry Angelo's latest draft class show, in their final opprotunity, they are worthy of a roster spot? Of course, with the Bears, draft status carries more weight than anything, just look at how long we held onto Ced Benson!

7:45-Unfortunately tonight, I have to watch the game from the Browns perspective on the local Columbus, OH CBS station. While I'll miss out on all the Bears insight, I'll get to revel in the wonder that is Bernie Kosar's analysis. Half the time he sounds like he's asleep, the other half sounds like he just inhaled a double shot of whiskey. But all the time, it's entertaining! On the downside, I'm missing Big Brother (I know, I need to be checked into a mental institution). Oh, the conflict!