Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Cirque de LeBron - A Circus Fit for a King

Originally, this was going to be a piece focusing on a series of possible outcomes for Decision LeBron Thursday night at 9 on ESPN, written with tongue firmly in cheek. We were going to laugh together, imagining LeBron sitting at a table with baseball caps of each of the potential suitors, like he was a high school recruit. We would chuckle, imagining Stuart Scott as Ryan Seacrest, keeping us hooked until 9:59 PM as he and a panel of NBA experts fawned over LeBron. We would shudder at the sight of James wooing the likes of Mikhail Prokhorov and Dan Gilbert over romantic candlelit dinners as if he were the Bachelor. But, then something struck me, and stopped me dead in my tracks. It was a tweet Tuesday night from the Cleveland Plain Dealer's Brian Windhorst, a man who maybe knows LeBron better than anyone in the media:

@PDcavsinsider Suddenly it is clear to me. LeBron has changed. A new website. Starting Twitter. This announcement. This isn't the guy I know.

Of course, Windhorst is referring to the announcement that James will be creating his own hour-long special on ESPN Thursday night with the sole purpose of announcing his free agency decision. But, that sentiment, that LeBron has suddenly become a different person, has literally been a chilling thought that has slowly sunk in since Tuesday night. Suddenly, LeBron James, the most recognizable athlete in the country, needs a website and a Twitter account to communicate with the masses? Ohio isn't big enough for the King's special, but neither is Bristol, CT...so, he has to host it in the most preppy suburb in the country - Greenwich, CT? A suburb of...New York City? The most famous athlete in the world today needs to become more famous? Something doesn't feel right about this. Clearly, LeBron James is dead and King James has been born in all his royal glory.

LeBron can't just announce his free agency decision like every other free agent in the history of sports, that's not fit for a King. He needs to have Stuart Scott and Jim Gray blow smoke up his a$$ (as if he hasn't been told how great he is since he was 12 years old) for an entire hour. And please, let's not be naive and pretend that this is about raising some money for charity. If LeBron gave two drops in a bucket about charity, he could write a check this second for $10 million and give it to any charity he wanted with no press conferences, no ESPN. No, this "special" is about one thing - inflating LeBron's ever-growing ego. As readers know, I have as little respect for Brett Favre as any other athlete on the planet; but even the Old Man wouldn't stoop to this level to garner attention for himself.

We haven't even factored in what decision the King is even going to make tomorrow night. But, really, we don't need to, because this entire circus has damaged the "brand of LeBron" perhaps irreparably. Think about this farce of a production Thursday night. Is there any scenario where the King doesn't come off as a selfish, self-absorbed egomaniac? Let's say he returns to Cleveland. What's the point of creating an hour special from just outside New York City to celebrate your loyalty to Cleveland, Akron, and the state of Ohio? It makes it seem as if Cleveland isn't big enough for the "brand of LeBron." Like Cleveland should just feel fortunate they are worthy of LeBron for another season, or two, or three, or six. If LeBron were staying, wouldn't it make more sense to humbly announce that you were resigning with the Cavs like Kevin Durant just did with the Thunder? Wouldn't it make sense to not completely put yourself on a pedestal above your teammates and organization? But of course, doing that wouldn't be fit for a King.

Instead, let's imagine LeBron does leave Cleveland on national television. Could you imagine a bigger insult to an entire fan base? Has a professional athlete ever hogged an entire hour of national tv just to break up with his current team? Wouldn't that just be driving a stake through the heart of one of the most downtrodden fan bases in the country? Wouldn't that be the most embarrassing event in your hometown's long sports history... a history you've claimed to be acutely aware of throughout your career? Wouldn't the hometown boy turning his back on everything he's known, without delivering his promised championship, be worse than the Browns being stolen? Wouldn't that be a death knell for a fragile Cleveland economy? If LeBron went through with that, Cleveland fans would have a right to hate LeBron James with a fury felt by no other single person in the world of sports. Don't worry though, I'm sure Jim Gray will be there to soften the blow and remind you all the proceeds of the commercials have gone to charity and that LeBron is still committed to the community of Akron. After all, a historic announcement like this has to be made in a style that's fit for a king.

There will be time enough to analyze the winners and losers the day after, to determine if LeBron made the right choice with his free agency decision. We'll be able to predict how many titles he'll win on his potentially new team. Economists can forecast if LeBron will grow his kingdom enough to become the first billionaire athlete, his true motivation behind tomorrow's decision. Years from now, sports fans across the nation will remember where they were when they were glued to ESPN, like the mindless peasants that sports fans have been forced to become, bowing to the feet of athletes like King James and entities like ESPN.

But sadly, fans may also remember July 8, 2010 as the day a small portion of what makes sports special died. We'll remember the day where the collective success of the team was cast aside for the fame of the individual. We'll remember the beginning of an era where athletes don't just nickname themselves as kings, but actually believe they are royalty, meant to rule over the common masses with a stroke of their mighty hand. See, King James might think he's doing a favor for his followers by flooding his ego with the eyes of millions of viewers on him and the fate of entire cities resting on his every word. But, what he'll really accomplish tomorrow night, no matter where he decides to rest his heavy crown, will be the permanent severing of the connection between fan and athlete. If only, it were fit for a King.

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