Hot Off The Grill - NFL Week 5 Preview

Unfortunately, I missed Mark Teixiera's walk-off win and A-Rod's heroics last night because I went back to Urbana High School for some Friday night High School Homecoming action in midwest Ohio! Of course, when you're 6 years out of high school, things don't seem as cool as they once did, but hey, at least it rained all night! Brother Yohey and I witnessed a thrilling 12-6 win for Urbana which featured 2 things I've never seen before. First, the Bush Push was flagged for a penatly (yes, that actually happened... aiding the runner? WTF?). Oh, and Urbana's kicker kicked off with the ball on the tee sideways, I'm not making that up. But enough about me, let's go to the National. Football. League. And if anyone sees a kicker kick off with the ball sideways on the tee on Sunday, please write in and let me know.

Big Kielbasa's Game Of the Week - Cincinnati (3-1) @ Baltimore (3-1)

Our game of the week involves... wait, the Cincinnati Bengals?? Is this a joke?? Somehow, the Bungals are 3-1 on the young season, and should be 4-0 aside from that Immaculate Deflection play in Week 1 against the Broncos. And, they actually play an important game for first place in the AFC North! Sure, they didn't look great last week in Cleveland, but the only thing that it hurt was their power rankings (gasp, sigh, yawn, who cares). Anyways, the Bengals resurgence can be squarely placed at the feet of a healthy Carson Palmer and a renewed D led by Antwan Odom and USC LBs Rey Maualuga and Keith Rivers.

Lost in all of the Ravens' crying and complaining like Jon Gosselin was the fact that they were one dropped pass away from possibly winning in New England. Joe Flacco's emergence and the return of the Running Back Formerly Known As Willis McGahee have strengthened Baltimore's offense immensely. Much like New Orleans, they are a surprisingly complete and balanced team. Can we really be sure Baltimore is that good since 2 of their wins are over KC and Cleveland though? At 3-1, Baltimore needs a big division win over one of the contenders. The Ravens are favored by 9 points which might be a tad much. If you pick with the spread, go with Cincy because it should be close, but the Ravens will win by less than a TD. PICK-RAVENS

Beer Brat's Spotlight Game Of the Week - New England (3-1) @ Denver (4-0)

Our spotlight game involves... wait, the Denver Broncos?? Enough with the jokes funny man! What in the name of Dan Reeves is going on here? Somehow, the Broncos are appearing to be a legitimate force in the NFL. That home win against the Cowboys led a lot of folks this week to recognize Josh McDaniels as the next coaching genius (even Brandon Marshall is now a fan) and Kyle Orton as a Pro Bowler... in the words of Lee Corso, not so fast my friend. This week, it's not Tony Romo and Wade Phillips but Tom Brady and Bill Belichick that come to Mile High. The Broncos D might have looked great against Brady Quinn and Tony Romo, but this is a different animal. Sure, the Broncos might be legit, and could even win the AFC West, but the Pats are winning this game. PICK-PATRIOTS

Chorizo's Upset Of the Week - Oakland (1-3) @ New York G... ok, just kidding... New York Jets (3-1) @ Miami (1-3)

-Ah yes, the Sanchez apologists were out in full force this week. "Well, he is a rookie, and he can't win 16 games." "Well, he'll learn not to do those things over time." "Well, he still looks good and has great genetics!" Puh-lease. What you didn't hear was that Sanchez actually has more turnovers than touchdowns, and that now he has a fresh new receiver to start dropping those passes that are on target. Welcome to New York Braylon Edwards! Let's hope he drops a lot of passes on Monday so Mike Francesa can go nuts on New York's newbie. But can Miami really beat the Jets? Miami with Chad Henne? If Ronnie Brown and Ricky Williams run like they did last week on Buffalo, Drew Henson can play QB and they'll still win. Now that the Jets have figured out their human, the Dolphins will pull out a defensive struggle on Monday night in Miami. PICK-DOLPHINS

Andouille's UTR Game - Atlanta (2-1) @ San Francisco (3-1)

-Is it just me, or is Atlanta perpetually under the radar this season? I know they were on a bye last week, but does anyone remember a single moment from Atlanta's season? As a Saints fan, this game is certainly not under the radar as the Niners can give my boys a 2 game lead in the NFC South. These aren't the Rams though visiting San Fran this weekend. Patrick Willis and the D has been dominant, but Michael Crabtree won't be making any impact for a while, so the load on offense falls to Glen Coffee and Shaun Hill for the time being. Much to my chagrin, the Falcons are still a really good football team, whether anyone notices or not. They're the pick. PICK-FALCONS

Hot Dog Of The Week - Patriots HC Bill Belichick

A kinder, gentler Bill Belichick has emerged over recent years, but you know that he wants to show up his star pupil in Denver on Sunday. Do you trust Kyle Orton against a Belichick defense? Of course, the Belichick/McDaniels dynamic might not be as frosty as the Mangenius relationship (isn't it time he lost that nickname?), but the hoodie should get the best of the youngest coach in the league this weekend. Oh, and not to rub it into Browns fans, but future Hall of Famer Belichick once coached your team don't forget. The Pats might not be the irresistible force they have been, but their fearless leader is still one of the best coaches in football, and he'll prove it again this weekend.

Extra Toppings -

-I know you're just like me... kicking yourself for missing the opening week of the UFL season! If anyone out in the RSS Universe wants to provide us with a UFL Recap please write in - and then find a good psychologist in your neighborhood!

-Everyone thinks the Braylon Edwards trade is a win-win? Cleveland got some garage sale items in exchange for a guy who drops every pass in sight, and will cost the Knicks LeBron James. You have to wonder if Eric Mangini facilitated this kind of discussion in search of a win-win trade.

-It's a race between the Giants and Vikings for who gets the biggest blowout this weekend. New York faces Oakland while Minny gets the pleasure of playing the Rams. I'll bet the fightin' Favres over Kyle Boller since Eli won't be 100%.

-We poked fun at NFL Power Rankings earlier. Seriously, what purpose do they serve? There's no BCS in the NFL, no polls, no computers, no real rankings. Who started this?

-I bet NBC wasn't imagining the Colts/Titans showdown this week to feature a 4-0 Indy team taking on an 0-4 Titans club. How much longer till we see Vince Young on the field? With a lost season, you have to think that the former Texas star deserves one more chance.

-With no Saints game this weekend, it's nice to finally be able to enjoy an NFL weekend without wearing a hole into the carpet at home. Yea, I'm that guy that paces around watching football games... I've embraced it though.

-The Award for NFL Star Who Really, Really, Really Thinks They Deserved The Nobel Peace Prize Goes To... Brett Favre! Yes Brett, you legitimately do feel that you were robbed of the prize because of your ability to be constantly loved, adulated, and worshipped by NFL talking heads everywhere for being the most egotistical person who has ever played the game. Sorry for your snub. Instead of a speech like Lou Holtz gave yesterday in Hot Off The Grill, check out Y2's fabulous Favre In His Own Words comeback column for some insight from Favre. But, as long as we're showing highlights of The Office Season 2 and talking about ridiculous speeches, maybe Brett's acceptance speech would look like this....

Randall's Got His Eye On You... Dallas QB Tony Romo

Quick, Tony, what down is it? Then again, maybe you were just trying to remember how many hot blonde girlfriends you've had in the past couple years. One thing's for sure, that number 3 is a far off dream for how many playoff wins you've had in your "illustrious" career thus far. Romo is under a lot of pressure in Big D for his lackluster start as folks' eyes are opened to the fact that Romo might not be all he's cracked up to be. 21st in QB Rating and 25th in Completion % doesn't scream All Pro. The Cowboys sit at an underwhelming 2-2, but the best medicine for any team these days might be a trip to Kansas City. Romo and the entire Cowboys club need to right the ship soon. Jerry Jones sure doesn't want a mediocre team playing in his new Dallas Palace.

That concludes our Hot off the Grill Preview. We'll be back Sunday nightish/Monday morningish with a recap of What We Missed This Weekend featuring an MLB Postseason update and a Presidents Cup recap. I just had to take a shot because Johnny Miller is talking about growing up in California, oy. Enjoy the weekend!